I Am Afraid To Lead!
So I chose to crib
We all know the glamour of leadership brings extra layers those responsibilities, that disguise themselves as privileges. The privilege of being the fodder for gossips, the privilege for being a charmer, a stunner.
Somehow, being a stunner has been my coveted dream. ALWAYS.
But it also creeps me, the center stage, the show, the lights, and the accountability. Because with a lead role comes a strings of responsibilities.
During my childhood years I craved for the center stage. But wasn’t adept to handling it, I acted crazy. Actually I never, honestly tried for the lead. And than got myself into believing that I am no good as a stunning leader. Now in middle age, when my third eye(Of course metaphorical eye guys!) opened wide to find the errors that limited my scope as leader, I found myself gaged with confusion.
Yes! I am petrified into an average woman.
Neither am I as lithe as Scarlett Johansson, nor as shining brown as Priyanka Chopra.
Neither filthy rich as Kim, nor have a devised plan to be rich like Nykaa’s Falguni Nayar.
So, I crib!
It’s easy peasy! Right?
Most of the average human on the planet crib, besides eating, sleeping and poo-ing.
Cribbing can be declared as national ailment.
Can’t do nothing. GO crib.
Politicians crib over religion.
Men crib over superiority.
Religions crib over politics. ( Whoa! Comedy of paradoxes)
I, mostly crib over averageness of my existence.
After cribbing, I brush it off saying DREAM BIG SEEMA!
BUT HOW? What are the tools that are instrumental in inducing your brain to dream big?
It’s the puzzle only an average human like me can answer. Only an average human can recount how feathery-cozy it feels to be cradling in the pram of averageness and escape the comedy of errors.
I wonder am I the only one, going through the train of disillusioned thoughts or I might have a tribe, yet to discover?
Well, weather or not there exist my tribe, bigger question is how far will I pull the weight of averageness.
An average woman with average skin tone and average MEMORY that fails to remember the most correct thing on correct time.
I hate this so much!
There are instances, where I can wipe off the label of averageness and stand tall. But nope! My average brain, like a smart feudal lord induces me into forgetting every right thing at the right nick’o moment.
It hurts like hell.
When you want to prove your mettle, and the situation is set just so right and poof! Like a magic castle all your memory, that could’ve established you, vanishes in thin air.
And you stand there dumb, thwacking your brain for ditching you!
And you crib!